02.03.10
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:56 pm by Bridget Zinn
I’m holding a bag of frozen corn up to my face.
Why? Why would I do such a thing?
It is not because it is fun.
Nothing fun about frozen corn on the face.
The corn is to take down the swelling until I can get into the dentist which is probably going to cost a million gabillion dollars.
I used to have perfect teeth. Really. I’d go to the dentist and they’d be all, “Wow, you have perfect teeth.”
Then I made the mistake of eating French toast. You might think that French toast is non-threatening and lovely and full of goodness. I thought so. So much so that I asked Barrett to teach me how to make it last night. Using Dave’s Killer Bread (ha, ha, ha, Dave, you have had the last laugh), organic eggs and butter from our CSA farm and a touch of cinnamon and vanilla. It smelled SO good cooking and took forever since we don’t have a griddle and had to make them one piece at a time in the cast iron skillet. It was going swimmingly.
SWIMMINGLY!
I was turning into the Master of French Toast and was already making plans for all of the future French Toast Extravaganzas I was going to create once I got my hands on a nice big griddle.
The sizzle of butter in the pan, the coosh as the egg and bread hit the pan, the smell of cinnamon and vanilla — how could I NOT be planning French Toast Extravaganzas when it was turning out to be the most fun thing in the world???
Then we sat down to eat. And something went crunch. Inside my mouth. Not a normal food crunch. I was sure there was a tiny piece of glass or metal in the bread but didn’t overly investigate. I have hearty teeth, I was sure it was fine. Maybe an extra hard seed?
Then today I chomped down on an adorable little thumbelina carrot from the farm. And realized SOMETHING was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong! A little tiny carrot should not cause so much pain. I had Barrett check it out and he confirmed that my tooth looked dodgy and was possibly cracked.
So.
I have an emergency appointment at a local dentist that takes people without dental insurance (which I hadn’t thought I needed since I had perfect teeth and wasn’t supposed to go to the dentist during chemotherapy anyway).
I’ve spent the week marveling at how amazing the human body is. It wants to heal! I have visible evidence from the surgery that my body wants to repair itself.
But I have this horrible feeling that the whole amazing miracle-healing-of-the-human-body business might not apply to teeth.
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01.07.10
Posted in Uncategorized at 5:24 pm by Bridget Zinn
These are the pre-surgery meds they gave me.
What were they thinking?
Bridget
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01.05.10
Posted in Uncategorized at 11:35 am by Bridget Zinn
Coveralls. You know the kind that mechanics wear? I should have asked for some for Christmas. Then I could just pop them over my clothes and solve the dripping butter and/or soy sauce and/or chocolate issue that seems to come up around the holidays. Wouldn’t that be brilliant?
Besides the lack-of-coveralls problem, we had a fabulous holiday and spent a day in Seattle shopping at the amazing gigantic Asian grocery store Uwajimaya’s. 
We picked up all sorts of goodies and had to fit it all in one backpack. The burdock root didn’t quite fit and ended up poking out the top, as you can see in the photo of Barrett on the Bainbridge Island Ferry.
Good thing we had our fun times over the holidays, as it turns out I’m having surgery THIS WEEK! I just found out yesterday. Lots of mad scrambling — stocking up on fruit juice jels (aka fake “healthy-ish” jello), vegetable broth, and miso soup.
V. Important To Do List (to be completed before Thursday):
1) Figure out what to do with Needs a Haircut But Will Not Be Able to Get One Before Thursday hair (as it is a well known fact that hospital types take better care of the well groomed). I need a look that requires little to no effort and yet somehow says “I care”. Possibly pigtails?
2) Paint nails –sadly, they have been unpainted for months now as the neuropathy was so bad, I wasn’t all that steady with a brush. If you don’t know what neuropathy is, yay for you, because it is this completely annoying chemo side effect that causes tingling in your hands and feet, and makes everything you touch feel like gravel, except when you can’t feel anything at all. Don’t even get me started on the fear of clipping toenails — the combination of lack of coordination in the hands and the lack of feeling in the feet is the perfect setting for bloody disaster. I am so happy to say the neuropathy seems to be disappearing. Huzzah!
3) Make sure iPod is loaded with music. Also, don’t forget to pack iPod speaker stand thing to play music in room to add ambiance (and cover up the sound of patients down the hall yelling at nurses and/or puking).
4) Pack red mary janes to keep from slipping in horrid hospital slippers when sneaking out for adventures.
5) Find some books to read ASAP!!!
Whew! Okay, must get to it.
I hope you had a great holiday!
Love to you all,
Bridget
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12.11.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 4:23 pm by Bridget Zinn
I got great news from the docs on yesterday. There’s no cancer around where my primary tumor was taken out. Woo hoo!
It’s all that good energy you’ve been sending me — cleared out a whole area! I’ve still got a couple of areas needing some cancer clearing left to go, but I have no doubt that all of your good energy will do its work.
You all are the best!
Especially, all of you who are participating in the Bridget Zinn auction– bidders, donaters, and organizers. You all are like the best best which is pretty best if you ask me. (The lovely organizers have made the ID to get into the auction “bridget” and the password “rules”.)
I’m trying not to spend too much time on the auction site tempted to bid on my own auction (have you seen Jone’s postcards — GORGEOUS!), but I did notice that there are a lot of great deals and the writing critiques are definitely all still in the great deal category.
Usually one of the only ways to get an insightful and professional critique is by going to a writing conference — something I love doing and recommend, BUT they are rather pricey — anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars, plus the fact that often you don’t get to choose the author, editor, or agent you’d like to have critique your work. Now’s your chance to get a critique from the professional of your choice! We really have some fabulous people donating their time — well worth checking out (and then bidding!).
V. exciting stuff.
In other news, I just got my copy of Boys Without Names by my friend Kashmira Sheth and I’m super excited about it. The earlier draft that I’d read was already gripping and beautiful and full of make-me-cry-but-feel-hopeful-too moments, and I can already tell that the finished book is going to knock my socks off. It comes out in January and you can pre-order it here.
Luckily, it is the perfect weekend for book reading as it is cold, cold, cold in Portland. Definitely curl up and read by the fire kind of weather.
I hope you stay warm and have a great weekend!
Love to you all,
Bridget
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12.06.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:10 pm by Bridget Zinn
You healthy people out there, do you just wake up and think “Wow, I feel FABULOUS!!!” and want to dance on the roof because you feel so great? Like every day? Because every time I have a healthy day, that’s exactly how I feel.
LIKE DANCING ON THE ROOF!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Except that my upstairs neighbors would probably complain.
And if the roof of our rental is anywhere near the condition that the basement is in, it would probably be really dangerous.
Plus, Barrett would undoubtedly catch me trying to sneak up there and give me that “Why do you always insist on doing dangerous things that will require me to take you to the emergency room?” look that I get now and then, and, while I know it is meant with love, sometimes I get it just for getting my contact lost somewhere it’s not supposed to be like below my eyeball so his danger ranking is way more sensitive than mine.
But, then again, I’ve never had to take him to the emergency room and he’s taken me there at least four times just this year.
So no dancing on the roof, today anyway, but I feel great! There has to be a less dangerous outlet for this great feeling of healthiness that is flooding through me.
For one thing, I am almost pretty much entirely over the Full Moon Fever (otherwise known as a virus — my blood work came back all on the up-and-up, so we could rule out anything exotic). The Fever was sort of awful but I kept thinking, you know, this really isn’t as bad as chemo. It’s just nature. 
My body is more than up for the task of fighting off a little bit of nature. Then I remembered those stories my friend Mitch told me about people getting chomped by grizzly bears in Glacier National Park and I realized that I would so be singing a different tune if I was getting chomped by nature in the form of a grizzly bear. Or battered by Orcas like that family up in the Strait of Juan de Fuca or Puget Sound or somewhere thereabouts.
That would totally suck. So I’m really happy that the nature that was chomping me was a virus and not that tough of one either since I seem to have conquered it.
BUT, and this is sort of the best part, I WAS TOO SICK TO GET CHEMO ON FRIDAY. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah!!!!! I feel just like when you’re a kid and you don’t go to school because you’re too sick BUT THEN YOU GET BETTER THAT SAME DAY and you still got out of school and you get to stay home and watch Christmas movies anyway.
This is the longest I’ve been off chemo since June, I think. It’s usually every two weeks. My body is getting all strong and hearty and hale and I get to feel good for one whole extra week. What am I going to do with myself?
Also, my ct scan from last week came back great again. Still going in the shrinkage direction.
How fabulous is that?
Have a great week!
Love,
Bridget
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