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Bridget Zinn

04.07.11

It’s Good To Be Home

Posted in Portland at 4:35 pm by Bridget Zinn

So Saturday I was waiting patiently in line at the ER and when my turn came, I explained how my oncologist had sent me in because my heart was beating fast and erratic like a giant butterfly frantically trying to get out. I guess it was a pretty good story and I looked a bit peaky, so I got greenlit to the top of the pile.
The desk lady told me that I wouldn’t have to wait long. There aren’t many times in life when it’s a good thing for someone to tell you that you look rotten–to get out of a test or maybe a particularly gruesome day of work, but as long as you have to be in the ER, you might as well look like you belong there.
The dreaded ER waiting room would be but a smidge of my day. I wouldn’t even have time to wonder what horrible infectious diseases were sitting next to me.
Almost immediately, before Barrett even made it in from parking the car, my name was called.
“Bridget Zinn.”
I stood up.
So did another lady.
As I was trying to catch the eye of the triage nurse, the other lady beat me to the door.
“Ms. Zinn?” He said to her.
SHE NODDED!
And proceeded to plunk herself down on the on the chair in the tiny triage room. My chair.
Before the door shut, I shouted, “I’m Bridget Zinn!”
The triage nurse paused.
“Really. I’m Bridget Zinn.”
Eventually, they got the imposter up from my chair and back out to the waiting room with the other not-greenlit ER patients.
This lady “claimed” she hadn’t heard the triage nurse correctly.
The truth is that she was willing to steal my identity and get treated for something entirely different than she actually had just to budge up a couple of spots in line.
Sheesh.
Test and test and test and test and one particularly painful test later, I almost wished I’d given her my spot. Especially when my ER doc said that there was a 90% chance that they’d be admitting me to the hospital. Apparently there are all sorts of risks with cancer patients for infections and blood clots and things that could cause the erratic beating butterfly heart problem.
Except that my tests almost all came back in pretty fine shape, including the ultra-painful one. We even discovered that the blood transfusions last Thursday took and I was rich with red blood cells.
So we made outlandish promises that should the least thing come up we’d come right back, plus Barrett gave him that trustworthy caretaker look he’s so good at and finally they let us go.
They didn’t catch him buying me chocolate cake (I only ate a tiny bit, I swear!) almost immediately after getting the instructions to keep me off stimulants for a couple of days INCLUDING chocolate.
It’s good to be home.
Love to you all,
Bridget

5 Comments »

  1. Adrienne said,

    April 7, 2011 at 6:23 pm

    I haven’t thought about bargaining with ER staff to get out of being admitted in a long time, but we got REALLY good at it. I am glad that you and Barrett were successful.

    I cannot believe that woman tried to take your spot. That is insane, but that’s an ER for you. More nutty people than the public library, and that is saying something.

  2. Deborah Lerner said,

    April 8, 2011 at 7:50 am

    There’s another good story in there. What if she really were another Bridget Zinn? Or what if she not only stole your identity but got along with it the reason for your ER visit leaving you with a broken toe or something. What if…..well hey, you’re the writer!

  3. erin said,

    April 9, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    Well the other side is an ER in Vermont. Never anyone really there. It can be hard to find staff to help you out and when you do find someone I wonder if they know what the h*ll they are up to!

  4. caitlin said,

    April 22, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    hi bridget. i dont know if you have ever visited hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com, but i find it to be a very funny (although a bit twisted) waste/use of my time. if you find yourself in need of some mindless distractions….this post is where you should start!

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/02/boyfriend-doesnt-have-ebola-probably.html

    It involves her version of what a pain scale should really look like…one of the options is “i’m being actively mauled by a bear”….hope you like it!

    -Caitlin

  5. Bridget Zinn said,

    May 10, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    Thanks for posting, Caitlin! I just read the pain one. Hilarious!

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